Founder and General Overseer of Action Chapel International Archbishop Nicholas Duncan-Williams has shared strong views on why many people struggle in marriage, emphasising that marriage is more about responsibility and purpose than emotions or love.

Speaking on TV3’s New Day, the respected clergyman explained that being a woman does not automatically make someone a wife, just as being a man does not automatically make someone a husband or father.

According to him, marriage requires preparation, maturity, and the ability to care for another person.

“One reason many women are not married is that they are not wife material. In the same way, some men are not husband material,” he stated.

“There is a difference between being a woman and being a wife, just as there is a difference between being a man and being a husband or father.”

The archbishop stressed that many people enter marriage without being ready for the responsibilities it comes with. He noted that if someone cannot take care of themselves, it becomes even harder to take care of a spouse or family.

He clarified that marriage is not simply about love or financial stability.

“I’m not talking about having hundreds of thousands of money,” he said.

“I’m talking about being prepared, ready, and responsible. You must have what it takes to care for another individual.”

Referencing the Bible, Archbishop Duncan-Williams explained that marriage is tied to purpose rather than just feelings. He pointed out that Scripture says, ‘For this purpose shall a man leave his father and mother,’ not ‘for love.’

“That tells us marriage is about fulfilling purpose, and purpose comes with responsibility,” he added.

The archbishop also highlighted the importance of training and upbringing. He believes parents play a crucial role in preparing children for marriage.

“Mothers must train their daughters to become wives, and fathers must train their sons to become husbands and fathers,” he said.

“These are issues we are not addressing properly in our educational system. Men are not groomed to become responsible husbands and fathers.”

He further explained that becoming a wife or husband is a process of growth and development.

“You are born a woman, but you become a wife. You are born a man, but you become a husband,” he noted, describing marriage as an “office” or responsibility that one grows into.

The archbishop warned that entering marriage without maturity often leads to serious challenges. Drawing from personal observation, he said many young couples who marry too early struggle because they are not prepared.

“I have seen that many people, including some of my own children who married under the age of 30, face serious problems. Marriage requires maturity,” he said.

He concluded by urging individuals to focus on personal growth and responsibility before considering marriage, stressing that preparation is key to building stable and lasting relationships.